How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
