i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
