Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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