so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize