dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
