dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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