Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
two words...techno handjob
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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