i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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