so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
