This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
