why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
