paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
