His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Are we still banned from the library?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
