that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
