So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
