Will you blow on my dice?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Drunk is not a location!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
