thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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