He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
