hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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