if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
and you fell through a lawn chair
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
