I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
