I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
