I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
