Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
