So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
