I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize