no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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