i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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