Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
