we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
