So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize