She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
