Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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