last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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