Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
