READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
