Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I don't deserve a penis
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
