Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize