Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
