where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize