Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize