Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize