i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
