Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
