Pappa wants mamma naked
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
