Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I could fuck to npr.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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