so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
