you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
