As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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