And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
