erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
