it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
