Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Randomize
