Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize