I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
