is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
