So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
