Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I've blown a few things in my day
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
