So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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