i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
