everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
