All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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