he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
