Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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