Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
