I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
