We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
