Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
